Episode 3: More Foster-Adopt & Overcoming Criticism

Episode Summary:
In the first half of today's episode, Holly answers questions related to Episode 2: This Hard Calling: Our Foster-Adopt Journey.

In the second half of this episode, Holly shares the story of her Client, Stephanie, who had a controlling Mother, who criticized Stephanie often.

Episode Excerpt Part 1:
For starters, I totally hear you- it can be terribly sad to lay eyes on a neglected child.  But, I am going to offer you a little coaching if you can receive it…

Try to refrain from pointing fingers.  As foster parents, we don’t get the full story at the time of placement, so judging the bios based on the condition the kids showed up in is allowing your ego to step in.  

I don’t know if you listened to the first episode of my podcast, where I describe Ego Identities, but basically, whenever we feel superior or inferior, our ego has gotten involved.  So, can you see how taking on a superior, ‘how could they?’ Kind of mentality would be ego-based?  

It is a fine line and I get it.  Totally.  Just remember to check your ego when those feelings arise and try to focus on stabilizing and loving the child or children.

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Episode Excerpt Part 2:
Stephanie is a long time makeup Client, so she reached out to me for some guidance on how to deal with her critical parent.

So with her permission, I am going to share the tools I gave her in case you are in a similar situation or ever find yourself in a similar situation.

Now, if you are a Criticizing Parent, then I hope you these tools will give you some insight into the damage your behaviors can cause in your children, even if they are grown.

So the first step I took with Stephanie, was to help her better understand the act of CRITICIZING…

Criticism is about REFLECTION.

You know, anytime criticism shows up, it more about the one judging than the one on the receiving end.

So, in Stephanie’s case, her Mother is seeing one of 2 things in her daughter-

Something she either wishes she possessed

Or

Something she sees in her daughter that hates about herself.

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So in this episode, I am answering your Foster-Adopt questions from Episode 2 and sharing a Client's story on how she navigated having a controlling Mother.

To hear this Episode, click here >>